The New Side Chick Part III: Why I Can’t Trust Good Men

Miss T. N. king

In “The ‘New Side Chick’: I was Her”, I introduced a new role a lot of women play to men who aren’t seriously interested in them.  In “The New Side Chick Part II: But I Can’t Leave Him…”, I discussed how to leave those unhealthy, loveless relationships/situationships.  But then what?!  You find your knight in shining armor and live happily ever after? Ha! I wish that was the case.  I have to be honest with you:  It’s been about 8 months since cutting my ties with Jake, and I am still not fully healed. I’ve become too guarded over my heart.  I began to see every man who does not immediately commit to me as a potential Jake.  I wouldn’t allow myself to really open up and be vulnerable with another guy, no matter how good they were, because in my mind, they would eventually hurt me.  I…

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True Love Weights (or, the one about sex)

panic, preacher. panic!

“Are you married?”

That would always be the question from the time I was about 14. During any conversation with a person I just met, their eyes would casually drift over to my ring finger on my left hand and they would see the small silver ring that I wore with pride. This ring that symbolized purity. This ring that made the bold statement that I would be saving sex as a gift only to be experienced with my wife. This ring that symbolized everything that I would soon find out stood in stark contrast to the culture around me. This ring I wore not out of faithfulness to God’s standards, but as an ostentation. A show. A lie.

Because what is purity, and what does it involve? Is it simply abstaining from an act with someone else until marriage? Because if that’s all it is, I’m doing pretty good…

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Hip Hop Education: An Interview w/ Dr. Pedro Noguera

Brian Mooney

As part of a series of interviews with scholars, teachers, and students about the intersections of hip hop, spoken word poetry, and urban education, we interviewed Dr. Pedro Noguera of New York University. Dr. Noguera is the Peter L. Agnew Professor of Education at New York University. He is a sociologist whose scholarship and research focuses on the ways in which schools are influenced by social and economic conditions, as well as by demographic trends in local, regional and global contexts. He is widely published and seen as an expert in the field of education. The interview was filmed, directed and produced by educator Brian Mooney and his students Jaelan Acosta and Edsel Engalla. Footage was provided by Jaelan Acosta, Edsel Engalla, and High Tech High School’s TV Pro students and teachers.

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More to Be Said (a poem)

panic, preacher. panic!

Words wound tightly around wounds from which our memories unwind,

Words said without thought,

Words leveled against enemies in haste,

Words full of truth but lacking in grace.

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Words of the heart misshapen and leaving intentions mistaken,

Words written without love,

Words spat out to the world with hate,

Words that create scars and sap from us the power to create.

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I was called to be a lighthouse,

a city on a hill that cannot be hidden.

But it seems in all of my bitterness,

I have chewed up more than I have bitten.

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I am constantly smitten,

Overwhelmed with love for my fellow man.

At least that is what I say.

But is it love for others I hold close to my bound up heart,

Or is it love for the man staring back from the shattered mirror,

Love formed of well intentioned words my well intentioned…

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The New Side Chick Part II: But I Can’t Leave Him…

Miss T. N. king

In my opinion, love is the greatest gift a person can give and receive. People spend a lifetime seeking, chasing, crying, and fighting for love. But what happens when that sweet love turns sour? Your sunny skies turn gray, and the one person you loved the most has given you the biggest heartache.  I want to discuss how to let go of toxic relationships and gain the strength to move forward. Since I’ve published “The ‘New’ Side Chick: I was Her”, a lot of men and women have contacted me sharing their similar experiences and have asked me how to move on from someone you love. I too have faced the same challenge, and through the grace of God, I’ve made it.

Growing up, I’ve always vowed to never give my heart away. I liked, but wouldn’t dare to love. However, all of that changed once…

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The ‘New’ Side Chick: I Was Her

Miss T. N. king

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing.

I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to…

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Worth

What is Self-Worth?Image

According to Wikipedia (2013), “The self is an individual person as the object of his or her own reflective consciousness.”
— for all one is worth
: to the fullest extent of one’s value or ability
(Webster, Merriam Webster, 2013)
I’m sitting thinking about how to define self worth and I think I finally have it. See, when I speak on self worth it means being able to know that you alone can conquer anything without a “bunch” of others. I mean its okay to have those around you (positive of course). However when you leave the point out, where you become blind sighted and you miss the value of why you were created, self worth does not exist. See self worth is value, self worth is having value for your self knowing that you are important. It’s being able to say , ” I love me some you” you know the moments when you look in the mirror and you give yourself the motivation to move forward and appreciate you. That’s self worth. Love is love, but in order to love anyone else, you have to love and value yourself. Sure I want tell “no lie” growing and learning you, can and may be hard. But  sure as life continues and continues, you and I began to appreciate who we are, who the creator created, and who is allowing us to be us.
So think closely about how you define self worth. (?), Do YOU respect yourself or are you just dealing with yourself and not trying to figure out who you need to be?
Peace peeps
Comment, leave your thoughts